A few helpful ideas to pass on if your adult child tells you that their marriage is "on the rocks".
Try to keep to a normal routine. The emotional disturbance of a divorce in the close family can cause stress levels to rise. You will need to keep your own focus on health, financial affairs, and emotional well being.
When asked, Offer emotional support and assistance.
Try not to take sides. Even though a divorce is imminent; if there is a reconciliation, it is better to stay neutral and not spread bad comments about your child's former spouse.
Try to maintain cordial relationships with the ex spouse. This is important when grandchildren are involved.
You can offer financial support if you are able to do so, but keep in mind that the IRS has gift tax rules.
If your child has an attorney (and they should be represented separately) you might seek the guidance of their attorney to make sure that any funds you give to your child do not affect the division of marital assets. If you give a gift prior to the divorce, it could become part of the marital property to be divided.
Review with your child; their attorney and your estate planning attorney when:
you have loaned money to the couple when they were married or gave substantial gifts, such as a timeshare or vacation property
you have a trust in their joint names or the names of their children
you have a joint business venture with your child
you have co-signed on any loan or mortgage
you have your child's soon- to- be- former spouse as a beneficiary on any document
your adult child (and perhaps their spouse and children) are mentioned in your estate plan/will
The finances of a divorce settlement can be complicated.
Seek professional guidance if your adult child is facing a divorce and you have concerns about your estate planning documents.
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